Welcome to Ryan Millard's first hate of the month. Mark May I don't even know you and I hate ya guts! What can be said bad about a guy such as Mark May. He was quite the football player in his day. Played @ Pitt and for the Washington Redskins. He is also in the College Football Hall of Fame.

Did you know that in his Junior and Senior seasons @ Pitt he didn't give up 1 sack. Also, he was a 1st round draft pick and a 1 time Pro Bowler. But it's not his skills on the field that have me ready to bitch slap those Lens Crafters gay looking glasses off his face. It's his constant shitty analysis of college football and how certain teams or going to match up for the games ahead. Does this guy even have a fucking clue? I mean he is a former O-lineman and we know how smart they are. It's like he does no research and espn tells him "ah just wing it, go with your gut." I don't think he's ever picked a winner of a game even at halftime. Not to mention he sucks on Dave Wannstedt's wang and is always picking his Pitt Panthers. Yeah Dave Wannstedt's a good coach. Maybe for a class C high school in Idaho. The guy has never won anywhere. How do you keep getting jobs without producing a winning record. Man I gotta get a hold of his agent. Oh thats right you are friends with Jimmy Johnson, that explains it. So if you know a guy who wins a Super Bowl you just get hired anywhere.

Must be nice. And how come Dave never smiles, for God's sake he looks like he listens to Emo or something. But anyways back on Mark Gay oops! I mean May. I just love how he hates the Big Ten and says they are a sub par conference. Yeah Mark cause the Big east is really on a tare aren't they? Shit Pitt almost lost to Iowa 21-20. Iowa is one of the worst teams in the Big Ten. Not to mention they lost to Bowling Green HA! LOL! Good lord Pitt's toughest opponents this year are University of Southern Florida and West Virginia. We've already seen WVU collapse twice. So don't give that strength of schedule crap. And one more thing Mark. Leave Lou Holtz alone! He's an old man for crying out loud, he could die any minute. I'm not a big fan of Lou either but every time to old coot says something May rolls his eyes or knocks him down. Act with some class you fat imitation of Will Smith.

I hope one of these days Lou takes his oxygen off, gets out of his wheelchair and bitch slaps you so hard his 105 year old hand falls off. Well maybe Lou slurs so much in his face that every night Mark gets a Lou Hotlz shower of saliva. It's probably mostly made up of Ensure and Fibercon. Way to go Lou! Well I've said what I needed to, man I feel better don't you? This has been a hate-a-tori-um of fun can't wait till next time. Until then Mark May gargles my man chowder and I hate ya guts!

Rich Rodriguez and the Michigan Wolverines were able to pick up their first win of the season last Saturday versus Miami (OH). The win was not pretty, but it was a much needed victory and there was slight improvement on the offensive side of the ball. The running game evolved while the passing game took a step back.

I figured the Wolverines would be able to run the ball effectively against the Red Hawks because Vanderbilt was able to do so, but I didn't expect Steven Threet and the passing game to struggle as much as it did. The defense was nearly perfect as they picked up right where they left off against Utah the previous week. There were a few big plays given up by the secondary, but the Wolverines red zone defense held the Red Hawks to only two FG's.

Rodriguez alluded to the "Good, Bad, and the Ugly" to sum up his first victory and… one could certainly agree with that particular assessment. This game was basically a glorified practice for the young Wolverines as they were still trying to find a true identity on offense, but the road ahead is destined to get harder as the team travels to Notre Dame this weekend. Basically, the bad and ugly factors of play need a makeover… quickly. Some of the good consisted of the Wolverines playing a near error free ballgame. They managed to not turn the ball over and they also only had two penalties. Trust me! Those are the right kind of stats to have, especially from a young team that is trying to learn as they progress this season.

The Offense:


The first quarter started with a bang as the Wolverines offense moved down the field with precision. Threet connected on a short pass to Martavious Odoms which turned into quite a gain. RB's McGuffie and Shaw also chipped in. The surprise was Threet's ability to scramble in the open field. He scored the games first touchdown and actually ran the ball ok, BUT… his passing accuracy still needs improvement. When Threet tried to pass the ball to an open WR, his throws were way too high. Now, I don't know if you can solely pin the blame on Threet because the receivers appeared to be confused as well, plus, they are also young and Greg Matthews did not play. If a passing game was developed, I believe that the score could've been more lopsided.




















The running game was the brightest and most consistent part of the offense as Sam McGuffie showed off his potential as a threat in the backfield. He had great speed in space and turned out to be dependable either running or catching the ball. Michael Shaw's skills were also on display, but he was slowed down by a minor injury later in the game. I tend to agree with RB's coach Fred Jackson when it comes to these two freshmen, they appear to have a great amount of talent and they will only become better as the season progresses; particularly because they are seeing a lot of playing time over the veterans.




















I did not see Carlos Brown out there, but…Kevin Grady and Brandon Minor both had limited time. However, Minor scored the only time he was given the ball and that was in the fourth quarter. I see Rodriguez playing more of the veterans against the Irish this weekend, especially if Brown is healthy. Grady and Minor could be used more in the red zone.

Overall Grade: C+

The Defense:



























Despite a few problems in the secondary and a small inability to penetrate the OL, the Wolverines defense was impressive. The only criticism that I can think of was at the safety position where Stevie Brown was repeatedly victimized (like Utah game).

The LB play improved as Jonas Mouton added great physicality and high intensity on the field. The front line stopped the running game for the most part, but they didn't attack the opposing QB until much later in the game. There wasn't really one dominant individual out there, it was more of a collective effort. However, some of the key players were Brandon Graham and Terrence Taylor. Freshman Mike Martin also contributed quite well.

Overall Grade: A-

Special Teams:

Well, the rugby experiment didn't last for very long and Zoltan Mesko was back in form, but… the special teams had some setbacks. Kicker K.C. Lopata made a 47 yd FG, but also missed one of 41 yds. There was also a botched extra point. This doesn't necessarily concern me too much because I'm certain they will be a bright spot throughout the season.

However, the return game could use some repair. I don't think Donovan Warren should be fielding punt returns. I believe he could be effective from time to time, but his place should be primarily on the defensive side of the ball. Rodriguez mentioned that the return game is a work in progress and plans to possibly use Boubacar Cissoko or Martavious Odoms.

Overall Grade: C

Go Blue! Beat Notre Dame!

What is with Jimmy Clausen's hair? I mean for real! It's like a phenomenon of epic gay awesome hair. I think Jimmy says to himself.. "hey I am so ugly.. It really doesn't matter what my hair looks like." When I was watching the Irish play on Saturday I couldn't help but laugh out loud every time I saw him with his helmet off our saw his profile picture. Even one friend point and said "D-BAG!"
I then shook my head and agreed... That's the word.. D-bag. Lets take a look at the Jimmy D hair secrets that we have the pleasure of seeing.

The "I am actually trying to look good" Hair



Jimmy says not much done here. Just go be you're self and look natural. No product or anything. Before The Irish got into the Jimmy so to speak.

The"Look tough hair"



Not much changes from the "looking good" hair but a bit more "puffed out". Still no product. Jimmy Just combs out all his thin horse like hair, so it puffs out and makes him look bigger... Like Animals in the wild.

The Famous "Emu WTF Spike".





We all know this one. It's famous! This when we Jimmy took the D-bagness(yeah I can make up words) to a whole another level. For this d-bag/WTF cut Jimmy uses LOTS of Product! Like so much you're hands get all gross and no matter what you do it won't wash off. He uses a whole bottle of "Spike Guido Gel" to get it just right and then finishes it off with some hair spray.

The "Nash"






So now that brings us up to speed and why my friend pointed and said "D-Bag!".. It's the.. NASH! Made famous by Steve Nash the great NBA point guard. It's very easy. Just grow you're hair out and never touch it! The only thing you do is comb it 300 strokes. Don't even wash it. Look like big foot, grow a peach beard to help aid the hair and make it even more D-bagish(more made up words).

Steve Nash got away with it because he's Canadian but Jimmy who is even uglier then Steve Nash can't... You look like a D-Bag(the word of the day) Jimmy. Just Shave the head and we all can go home happy. I hope Tim Jamison tackles you by that Hanna Montana hair you have coming out of the back of you're helmet.

If Jimmy has anymore new hair styles or tips check back here for the latest.

Maybe next we will hit on... Is Jimmy "a Gay?".



Did He hook up with Brady Quinn and learn the play book?

The 2008 football season opener against the Utah Utes was basically a letdown and there was a clear indication that the Wolverines have a lot of work to do. The offense had several issues as the OL couldn't make the proper blocks to allow the running game to excel and there was also too much inconsistency at QB. The defense was solid for the most part, but they gave up too many big plays in the first half and the Wolverines had to crawl out of a hole in order to make things interesting.

I cannot be too upset with Rodriguez and his staff because it appeared that they made adjustments at the half, but it is crucial that this football team learn from its mistakes and not be down on themselves. Yes, Miami (OH) is not Oregon, but… they cannot afford to have another game full of miscommunication, poor execution, and hesitancy. As coach Rodriguez said in his press conference, this team is in no shape to play poorly and still expect to win games.

The Offense:

I was not surprised by Rodriguez starting QB Nick Sheridan over Steven Threet, however, I was curious as to why he didn't make a switch much earlier in the game. Sheridan started off ok, but as the first half developed… he looked like a deer in headlights out there as the running game was unable to help him. Threet was eventually put in and looked much more confident controlling the offense and he also showed more ability to throw the deep ball. He managed to connect on a TD pass to Junior Hemingway when the Wolverines tried to come back in the fourth quarter.



Threet was far from perfect, though. There were two critical moments when the Wolverines failed to convert on big plays. The first one was the 2 pt. conversion and the second one was when he tried to hit a wide open Darryl Stonum on a decisive fourth down play with under two minutes remaining in the game. Both throws were a little too wild and high for the receivers to really have a chance to make the reception. Hopefully, this was only a case of the first game jitters and Threet has more accuracy on his passes as the season progresses. Rodriguez said that the QB competition is still open, but Threet definitely has the upper hand after his performance on Saturday.

The running game was nearly non-existent. I guess we now know that when Rodriguez emphasizes "or" on the depth chart, he means it. Freshmen RB's Sam McGuffie and Michael Shaw had a significant amount of carries throughout the game as veterans Brandon Minor and Carlos Brown spent most of their time on the bench waiting. Rodriguez tried to establish the run in the first half, but the OL had so many breakdowns that all of the RB's were pretty much swarmed by the time they tried to make a cut or avoid a tackle. I would say that the failure of the running game primarily rests on the OL issues, but I also think that Rodriguez should've used Lloyd's guys a bit more often and try to run them up the middle. It certainly wouldn't have hurt.

The receivers were good whenever a decent pass was thrown their way. You could tell that Sheridan was not fond of the deep ball as most of his passes consisted of bubble screens and short routes. When Threet entered the game, we could finally see what the receivers were capable of, especially Junior Hemingway and Greg Matthews. Matthews is the player with the most experience, but Hemingway showed great ability as a potential threat down the road… if he remains healthy. Fellow young receivers like Darryl Stonum and Tony Clemons will get better as the QB position becomes more solidified.

The offense will eventually come along, but the main problem that needs to be addressed is the OL. Besides that… the QB must make better decisions and not be so confused. There was a great deal of miscommunication out there and that has to be fixed quickly. Rodriguez needs to mix it up a bit more when it comes to running the ball and I think he will do that this week. He said that he used a small and limited amount of running plays versus Utah because he didn't want to confuse his players. I'm sure the coach will make the proper adjustments this week and try to utilize the talent and open up the playbook.

Overall Grade: C-


The Defense:

In order to properly summarize the defense, one must look at both halves. The first half consisted of a great run defense, but the linebackers and secondary were quite weak against the pass. There was also a lack of pressure on QB Brian Johnson, which allowed him to look like a Heisman contender against a defense that was supposedly stronger and more dominant against the spread offense. Big plays were given up as safety Stevie Brown was burned on a 55 yd pass and freshman LB Marell Evans proved that he wasn’t ready after being victimized repeatedly. However, those two should not be singled out because the whole unit was mediocre during the first half. The only credit that I can give the defense during the first half was that they kept the Wolverines in the game. Most of the scores consisted of FG's.

The second half brought hope as the coaching staff and players clearly made adjustments. The front line dominated and chased Johnson around the backfield and accumulated five sacks. The Brandon Graham that I expected this season finally showed up. Also, the LB play improved as sophomore Jonas Mouton gave them a much needed boost. Obi Ezeh let his game speak as he collected 14 tackles and an interception. If Ezeh continues to put up those types of stats, he will undoubtedly earn a great amount of Big Ten honors throughout the season. The secondary also improved as Morgan Trent and Donovan Warren were able to defend with more consistency. I think a lot of it boiled down to applying more pressure on the QB and limiting his time to make decisions. Once the line was able to break through the blockers… it was obviously open season on Johnson.

Most of the mistakes that the defense made were largely associated with Shafer's decision to work with the all too familiar 4-3 defense that was used during the Hermann years. Once that Shafer made the adjustment at halftime and changed things at LB, the nickel packages were much more effective as the results were significantly different. Shafer deserves a lot of credit for his halftime adjustments and there is no doubt in my mind that IF the defense plays like that all season… and continues to fly to the ball… the Wolverines will win more games. As everyone is fully aware, the leadership is on the defensive side of the ball.

Overall Grade: B+


Special Teams:

If there was a bright spot in the game, it was definitely with the special teams unit. Despite Rodriguez' attempt to bring back the rugby experiment from a few years back (Iowa game 2003), the special teams looked impressive. Kicker K.C. Lopata hit a 50 yd FG, so there shouldn't be any controversy at that position. The unit also blocked a FG and… a punt. These are all great signs and it is a sigh of relief knowing that the Wolverines appear to be solid in this department. Just as long as Zoltan Mesko returns to his standard form in the punting game, there shouldn’t be any problems.

Overall Grade: B+


Go Blue!

The "Toe"